The Manchild Chronicles

Floundering Through Adulthood

Oscars ‘08 – Picks Based On “Doability”

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In response to Hollywood Elsewhere’s post (also see New York’s article) on Ellen Page‘s lackluster doability resulting in a projected Oscar loss, I will be rating the doable factor of the five Best Picture Nominees 2 hours prior to award being given away.

The Best Picture Nominees:

Atonement, Juno, Michael Clayton, No Country For Old Men, There Will Be Blood

Atonement

Atonement features a very doable Keira Knightley. I mean she lacks curves and has a face that could easily play Natalie Portman‘s doppleganger. But still she’s very doable. James Mcavoy is doable (maybe… not sure).

Doable Factor: 8/10

Juno

Some people say that Ellen Page isn’t identifiable with the word fertile. I have to disagree. She is fertile and doable in a way that a teenager would find a woman capable of bearing a child. Michael Cera‘s doability is definitley questionable.

Doable Factor: 6/10

Michael Clayton

Michael Clayton is about big industry, law firms, and farmers. It stars George Clooney. What more do I have to say?

(Tom Wilkinson and Tilda Swinton were not considered during the rating of this movie)

Doable Factor: 9/10

No Country For Old Men

Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem. Sugar and Spice.

The movie has some Latin flavor and some good old dark-haired mustached white boy.

Doable Factor: 7/10

There Will Be Blood

With the only real women being Ellen Page and Keira Knightley I’ve been playing a switch hitter throughout this post. Daniel Day-Lewis continues along this path. In my book he’s doable and very capable of battling George Clooney for top male billing.

Also, I bet most women would find his accent and gruff portrayal appealing. Not to mention the oil and oil wells represent one phallic reference after the other.

Doable Factor: 8.5/10

Michael Clayton should win Best Picture tonight! I find the likelihood of this actually happening a little suspect and doability having absolutely no merit in Oscar probability.

Look for No Country For Old Men to take the cake tonight (Javier Bardem has already won).

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