The Manchild Chronicles

Floundering Through Adulthood

Tracy Morgan is crazy

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It is too weird:

He zeroed in on a woman in her 20s. “You look like a young Whitney Houston,” he said. “Before Bobby.” And: “You won’t catch me on ‘To Catch a Predator.’ I like grown women.”

She would not look up, and he inquired if she, too, would bear his next child, even ordering one to spec: “You know our daughter. Ten pounds, 8 ounces, and she’s going to your house when she starts crying.” He told her: “Why don’t you give me some love? You treat me like Space Ghost.”

Finally, she laughed.

The night ended at the Hudson Hotel, where Mr. Morgan danced, drank and spotted a few more prospective mothers for his daughter. Somewhere along the way, he gave his book a new title: “I’m Tracy Morgan: Let Me Live.”

Written by Demosthenes

March 24, 2008 at 6:39 pm

Vagina Sushi

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Some people think blogging with 10 dollar words makes it ok:

Think word sushi: delicately-prepared high-quality content that’s easy to consume.

When I think of sushi, I don’t think of fancy phrases -I think of Kate Beckinsale:

You told an interviewer you’d rather eat a vagina than sushi. When stuff you say makes headlines, what’s the reaction of your publicity team? I have to say, sushi freaks me out more than almost anything. At least a vagina would be warm. [laughs] My publicist has literally turned a funny color and is going to go have a lie-down. He’s throwing up now, as well. I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what’s on my mind, and then get nine texts from all my friends going, “What’s the matter with you?” But I haven’t ever made a big attempt to have any particular image. And I don’t really worry about it.

We would like to take this opportunity to remind the readers to stop blogging.

Written by Demosthenes

March 23, 2008 at 10:18 pm

Vaginal Aesthetics Do Matter

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After the recent upheaval in the prostitution industry that the Eliot Spitzer scandal has caused there has been more of a focus on what you get for your money.

I found this article in New York magazine very enlightening. So, I guess when you pay $2,000 an hour for a hooker, one expects a vagina that will shoot rainbows and possibly sing your favorite tune from the musical Chicago.

Victoria and I, we did a lot of doubles. You do a double, sometimes guys want to, you know, watch. As soon as I saw her coochie, I told Jason, this is special.

Additional Reading: Kate Beckinsale Loves Her Lady Parts, That’s Because They Haven’t Seen MY Vag, The Politics of (Vagina) Style

Written by Hoaf

March 22, 2008 at 12:34 pm

Web 2.0 marketing, Web 2.0 Business

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Web 2.0 Marketing (Seth Godin’s Meatball Sundae):

It’s an excellent (and I believe a required) read for any marketers, online or offline. The concepts are the same for both. The information age has started to render the ‘big and slow’ companies obsolete in the way they do consumer business and marketing.

Copacetic » Blog Archive » Web 2.0 vs Web 1.0

* Web 1.0 was about reading, Web 2.0 is about writing
* Web 1.0 was about companies, Web 2.0 is about communities
* Web 1.0 was about client-server, Web 2.0 is about peer to peer
* Web 1.0 was about HTML, Web 2.0 is about XML
* Web 1.0 was about home pages, Web 2.0 is about blogs
* Web 1.0 was about portals, Web 2.0 is about RSS
* Web 1.0 was about taxonomy, Web 2.0 is about tags
* Web 1.0 was about wires, Web 2.0 is about wireless
* Web 1.0 was about owning, Web 2.0 is about sharing
* Web 1.0 was about IPOs, Web 2.0 is about trade sales
* Web 1.0 was about Netscape, Web 2.0 is about Google
* Web 1.0 was about web forms, Web 2.0 is about web applications
* Web 1.0 was about screen scraping, Web 2.0 is about APIs
* Web 1.0 was about dialup, Web 2.0 is about broadband
* Web 1.0 was about hardware costs, Web 2.0 is about bandwidth costs

For all this nonsense, web businesses that mirror traditional businesses are doing well (structured blogs that replace industry papers, classified sites, retail sites, web directories). Magical sites like Meebo, Pownce and unfortunately myspace (which gets points for its similarity to a phonebook, but sold for web 2.0 hype value) don’t have real business plans; they raise money but don’t have any real world value.

Even Google only operates as an advertising firm. Being web 2.0 is nothing and using web 2.0 marketing techniques is irrelevant. For all the gmail, google reader, google docs, grand central, radio automation, blogger etc… it’s only the ad sales that give them value. It seems like business hasn’t changed, it’s only found a new storefront.

Written by Demosthenes

March 21, 2008 at 9:38 pm

A Gawker blogger is worth….

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Blogonomics: Gawker’s Payroll, Redux:

Still, cruising around the Gawker Media stats pages (just put /stats onto the end of the domain in question) does make you realize how the Gawker-obsessed media misses much more important writers for the network as a whole. Do you know who Adam Pash is? He’s a blogger at Lifehacker; he got 5.2 million pageviews in January. Dashiell Bennett got 2.8 million pageviews at Fleshbot.I’d assume that Pash and Diaz are making comfortable six-figure incomes blogging, and that a good few of the “site leads” (Gina Trapani, Brian Lam) are as well. Conversely, some of the less popular bloggers are likely getting paid $50-60,000 per year.

Doubt is immediately cast on the numbers by the commentators, but dividing the editorial budget by the relative eyeball power of the bloggers seems like a pretty good way of figuring out the salaries.

Written by Demosthenes

March 21, 2008 at 5:35 pm

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Judd Apatow’s Winning Streak May End

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Judd Apatow, the director of such hearlded films as Superbad and Knocked Up, has a new movie he produced out this weekend called Drillbit Taylor. The movie follows a drifter (Owen Wilson), who is hired by a group of high school freshman as a body guard. It was co-written by Seth Rogen who is all over the place these days.The premise seems to be set up for a lot of laughs but the trailers I’ve seen haven’t looked that good. Also, the consensus from critics seems to be that it is “the suck”. Let me know what you think if you go see it this weekend.

It’s nice to see Judd’s wife, Leslie Mann, getting some love these days. She was great in knocked up and deserves to be getting more love from casting directors.

Written by Hoaf

March 21, 2008 at 11:13 am

Charlie Rose Beats Himself Up

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This has to be one of the funniest stories I’ve seen in quite some time. Charlie Rose, the PBS host, face planted in order to save his Macbook Air.

Sacrifice the face, protect the computer.

Check Tech Crunch for more hilarity.

Written by Hoaf

March 20, 2008 at 7:07 pm