The Manchild Chronicles

Floundering Through Adulthood

Posts Tagged ‘Hookers

Vagina Sushi

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Some people think blogging with 10 dollar words makes it ok:

Think word sushi: delicately-prepared high-quality content that’s easy to consume.

When I think of sushi, I don’t think of fancy phrases -I think of Kate Beckinsale:

You told an interviewer you’d rather eat a vagina than sushi. When stuff you say makes headlines, what’s the reaction of your publicity team? I have to say, sushi freaks me out more than almost anything. At least a vagina would be warm. [laughs] My publicist has literally turned a funny color and is going to go have a lie-down. He’s throwing up now, as well. I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what’s on my mind, and then get nine texts from all my friends going, “What’s the matter with you?” But I haven’t ever made a big attempt to have any particular image. And I don’t really worry about it.

We would like to take this opportunity to remind the readers to stop blogging.

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Written by Demosthenes

March 23, 2008 at 10:18 pm

Vaginal Aesthetics Do Matter

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After the recent upheaval in the prostitution industry that the Eliot Spitzer scandal has caused there has been more of a focus on what you get for your money.

I found this article in New York magazine very enlightening. So, I guess when you pay $2,000 an hour for a hooker, one expects a vagina that will shoot rainbows and possibly sing your favorite tune from the musical Chicago.

Victoria and I, we did a lot of doubles. You do a double, sometimes guys want to, you know, watch. As soon as I saw her coochie, I told Jason, this is special.

Additional Reading: Kate Beckinsale Loves Her Lady Parts, That’s Because They Haven’t Seen MY Vag, The Politics of (Vagina) Style

Written by Hoaf

March 22, 2008 at 12:34 pm

You Can Pimp In Rhode Island But Not NYC.

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So if you’re in Rhode Island and not soliciting your local prostitutes, you’re sort of not using your god given right. But thanks to Mr. Eliot “Hypocritzer” Spitzer, that may not be the case anymore (Shiiiiii)! The Providence Journal says that “Rhode Island lawmakers are considering a bill that would close the loophole in this state’s laws that makes prostitution legal if it occurs indoors.” Thanks for ruining the lives of Rhode Islanders who like to feel dirty, Spitzer.Maybe this is why that shitty Ivy Brown is in Providence. So all those slutty and ugly Brownholers can make it through school:

“A lot of people don’t realize that prostitution is legal in Rhode Island if you do it indoors,” State Police Inspector Stephen Bannon testified. In an accompanying letter, State Police Supt. Col. Brendan P. Doherty noted that under current law, “persons are free to solicit sex for money in newspapers and/or over the Internet as long as the conduct that is agreed upon takes place in private.”

So basically if I’m not buttering my bagel (Thank you NYC jews! Just not you Eliot) on a park bench in Narragansett it’s not all right. But if I fill my jelly roll indoors it’s A-O-K!

Written by Hoaf

March 13, 2008 at 8:55 pm